Day 9 of My 42-Day Postpartum Nutrition Meal Series
Mental load is real.
Even though food, nutrition, and sharing recipes will always be at my core, I can never talk about food without talking about its relationship with the mind, our environment, and the people around us.
Sadly, in today's world, most mothers no longer have a village. Many don't come from big families with aunties and grandmas who can move in and help after a mother gives birth.
And when our family dynamics change, so do the traditional roles and expectations at home. This is where husbands and partners need to step up.
The thing is, no matter how much a man tries to understand what a woman goes through, from menstrual cycles to pregnancy to childbirth, he will never truly understand because he hasn't experienced it himself.
I'm not blaming men. I'm simply saying that women need to recognize this too, and have some patience as men learn to understand their roles and expectations during postpartum recovery.
BUT men, that means YOU need to be open, patient, and willing to learn FIRST.
Read up on hormones, blood loss, physical recovery, and what actually happens to a woman's body after giving birth.
Giving birth is REAL recovery.
Just because you don't see a cast, stitches, or someone coughing in bed doesn't mean she isn't recovering.
Inside, mothers are going through one of the most transitional and vulnerable times of their lives, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
This is NOT the time to start planning or constantly asking your wife what needs to be done.
These conversations and expectations should happen BEFORE the baby arrives. And if you can't manage everything yourselves, bring in support! A postpartum doula, postpartum chef, housecleaner, family members, or other women with experience, who can help.
Women already carry enough mental load. And deep down, I think what many women truly want is a partner who takes care of things without having to be told, delegated to, or constantly reminded.
A partner who makes her feel safe enough to rest and recover.
There's no reason why you shouldn't know how much formula the baby needs, the feeding schedule, how to change diapers, what groceries are running low, or how to make your own damn shopping list.
Men, you have to expand yourselves beyond your own world.
Pay attention. Look around. Notice all the little things your wife does every single day that make your house a HOME.
Because supporting a new mother isn't just about helping with the baby. It's about taking care of the home, the responsibilities, and the mental load so she can focus on healing, bonding, and adjusting to motherhood.
She shouldn't have to manage you while she's recovering from giving birth.
And as your Asian Auntie LaLa always says, MAMA EATS FIRST!
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